


Destiny: A She-Ra AU

by wildcatra



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Catra is She-Ra, Brainwashing, Catra-centric (She-Ra), How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Manipulation, Multi, Past Abuse, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29556165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildcatra/pseuds/wildcatra
Summary: The scales fell from Catra's eyes, and she brought the sword crashing down. "You're wrong, Adora. You're wrong about the Horde, you're wrong about Shadow Weaver, you're wrong about the Horde, and you're wrong about me. And I will never, never, let you win."Catra was never meant to wield the Sword of Protection. She's been told so by Light Hope, by Adora, by the Horde, by the Rebellion, even by destiny itself. But then again, Catra has never listened to anyone in her life… An abused child finds friends, family and hope, on one condition: in order to keep them, she has to fight.Catra goes with Adora to find the Sword of Protection, and everything changes.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	1. I'm Coming

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic on Ao3, so I'm still figuring out how things work- if I'm missing any tags, please let me know!
> 
> There are a lot of fics like this out there already, but this one's going to focus in on Shadow Weaver's abuse of Catra and Adora and how it effects them going forward and my headcanons for She-Ra lore, Catra's background, the First Ones and pretty much the whole She-Ra universe. It's told in close third person mainly from Catra's point of view (written in past tense) with the occasional chapter from Adora (written in italics and present tense). This first chapter begins during the first episode, right before Adora sneaks out to the Whispering Woods- it's a lot shorter than my average chapter of this fic, so it serves more as a prologue/teaser than an actual chapter. 
> 
> This will update quite a lot, at the very least once a week but probably more depending on how busy I am. Criticism is totally welcome!

_ She's asleep. Dreaming, maybe, though it’s not so much a dream as a memory. The sword hovers in front of her, surrounded by winding roots and vines. She reaches out a desperate hand to touch it, and the sword collapses into a blinding flash of blue light.  _

Adora…  _ A voice calls from somewhere far away.  _ Adora!

_ She sits up with a gasp and then sets her jaw.  _

Don't worry,  _ she thinks, not so much to herself as to the voice that's been stalking her ever since she made that fateful trip to the Whispering Woods.  _ I'm coming.


	2. The Sword: Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this is the first real chapter- again, a bit shorter than most since it's only the equivalent of about half an episode. Apologies in advance for any spelling mistakes, British English/American English inconsistencies or typos!

"Hey! Where are you going?"

Catra didn't exactly make it a habit to watch her friend's every move, but walking out of their home in the middle of the night was unusual for Adora to say the least.

Adora gasped and jerked around at the sound of her voice. "I- back to the woods. There's something I need to figure out."

"What? You're not-"

Adora clasped a hand over her mouth and pulled her over to a corner as a bot clattered by. Catra smiled at this. _Adora may be acting strange, and she may be a force captain, but when all is done and said she still cares about me… or maybe she's just trying to save her own skin cause she knows if I get caught the whole Fright Zone will be on high alert._ She decided not to dwell on the latter idea, and instead focused on the more pressing matter at hand.

"What is wrong with you? You've been acting weird since we got back." An awful thought occurred to her, and she pulled her friend's head level to her own. "Are you _sure_ you're not brain damaged?"

"Look Catra, I know I saw something out there. It's ju-" She paused. "I just need to get another look. It feels… important, somehow."

 _Perhaps it's best to humour her_ , Catra thought. _If she's this determined to go to the Whispering Woods, then there's not a lot I can do to stop her. But I can protect her._ "Sounds good. Let's go."

"No. I don't want you getting in trouble on my behalf. Just cover for me okay? I'll be back before anyone knows I'm gone."

"No!" Catra cried, grabbing the blonde's arm. "If you're going, I'm going too."

"I have to do this alone."

"No, you don't! Are you stupid or something? The Whispering Woods almost _killed_ us last time we went in there!"

Adora rolled her eyes, a sign, Catra noted with satisfaction, that she wasn't entirely lost. "Excuse me? _We_ almost got killed? Last time I checked, you were the one who crashed the skiff!"

"Up for debate!"

"Uh-huh…"

Adora made to walk away, but yet again Catra pulled her back. "No! We do this together! You look out for me, and I look out for you! You promised! Remember?" It's a petty speech and Catra knew it, but the words tumbled out anyway as she inwardly cursed herself. "Besides, I'll promise not to drive this time, okay?"

"Sure…" Adora's voice sounded distant, and Catra wanted to cry with desperation.

"Race you to the skiffs?"

That seemed to brighten her up a little. "Oh, you're _so_ on."

Catra grinned. It seemed like only yesterday that she and Adora had been junior cadets racing around the Fright Zone with Lonnie, Kyle and Rogelio. The squadron were almost like family to her, and even if she was belittled and mocked by everyone around her she could always count on their support. _Well. Most of the time._ Her brow creased slightly as she jumped from pillar to pillar. _Maybe it's only Adora I can count on._

The pair touched down almost at the same time, laughing. Adora grabbed the keys looped around her belt and jabbed them into the skiff's engine. "You know, Catra, you're a really good runner. If you'd just put this amount of effort into the simulations then maybe Shadow Weaver would finally-"

"Can we not have this conversation right now?" Catra cut through her. She'd spend her whole life trying to please Shadow Weaver- completing each simulation in record timing, racing Horde soldiers twice her size, even beating Adora in combat- but after maybe the fortieth punishment for "cheating", she had given up entirely. If Shadow Weaver wanted to believe that she was a worthless failure, then Catra wasn't going to care. 

Of course, Adora, who has for some unknown reason been Shadow Weaver's favourite cadet for as long as either of them could remember couldn't possibly understand any of what Catra was feeling. 

"Fine," Adora said, starting up the engine. "And this time, _I'm_ steering."

-

By all rights, the Whispering Woods should have been pitch black by this time. There definitely should not have been a strange blue glow illuminating every branch and tree. Catra, who usually prided herself on her fearlessness, had to fight the urge to grab the steering wheel from Adora and turn back to the Fright Zone.

But evidently the _force captain_ didn't share her feelings. Adora drove the skiff straight towards the light, the very picture of determination and elegance. Everything Catra wasn't.

It had never really occurred to her to be jealous of Adora. After all, Adora was the one person Catra could rely on. She didn't think the blonde had ever spoken a harsh word to her, something which couldn't be said for anyone else Catra had met in… well… her entire life, really. The two had clung together, an attachment that (try as she might) Shadow Weaver simply couldn't stamp out. 

Now, headed towards the strange blue light, Catra felt a strange sense of bitterness towards her companion that she couldn't pin down. It was as if it had all happened before. _A sword. A village, fleeing destruction. Adora's face blinking up at her. A woman with scorpion pincers. A girl with purple hair. Adora swinging a sword at her. A lever being pulled. Adora's face, a mask of betrayal. A crystal etched with lines and circles. Adora's eyes wide with fear. Adora glaring at her aggressively. Adora. Adoraadoraadoraadoraadora…_ In a wave of passion that Catra couldn't quite place (was it fear? anger? jealousy? a mix of all three?), she snatched the steering wheel from Adora's hand and wheeled it around.

"What do you think you're doing? Are you out of your mind, Catra?"

"I'm taking you home. You'll thank me for this later."

"No!" Adora fought for control of the skiff, veering dangerously to the left. 

"Adora! Please!"

"I have to do this!"

"No! Adora, stay with me! Please! You have to stay with me!" Maybe it was the edge of desperation in her voice that did it, or maybe it was something else entirely, but Adora let go of the wheel and put her hands on Catra's shoulders. 

"Okay," she said, simply.

"Adora, something terrible is going to happen if you pick up that sword!" The words gushed out of her mouth before she could think about them. 

"Are you s-" Adora paused mid sentence as a large crashing ensued from a nearby clearing. The pair froze, and instinctively clung to each other, Catra's tail winding around Adora's body.

A male voice rang out of the frozen air, clearly mid-conversation (or mid-argument, Catra found it hard to tell between the two). "Well the trackpad says otherwise!"

"It's this way!" a higher-pitched voice called indignantly, and the trees beside the Horde cadets' skiff seemed to burst open. Catra had a brief impression of a purple-haired girl with a blue cape before a scream shot through the air and an arrow almost knocked her off her seat. Both she and Adora reached for the steering wheel, only this time it was Catra's turn to be knocked off the skiff as a blinding pain hit her square in the chest. She clawed around, trying in a desperate burst of energy to latch onto the side of the skiff, but the engine had already started up and it was speeding away. The last thing she was aware of before the whole world faded away around her was Adora screaming her name and a bright blue light searing across her conscience.

-

"Adora!" a voice called from somewhere close by. "Adora!"

She struggled to her feet. "I'm not Adora," she said, the words slurring together slightly as they tumbled out of her mouth. "I'm Catra." She blinked. Standing in front of her, and staring at her with an expression of mild curiosity, was a hologram, but not like one she'd ever seen before. It was tall, taller than Catra, even, and looked almost three-dimensional. It was angular, too, a face made up of entirely straight lines. 

"Hold on," she said, looking around herself for the first time since she'd woken up. "Where did the woods go?"

"Catra," she- they- _it_ \- said, almost musingly. "Catra."

"Yes." Catra's patience was beginning to grow thin. It had been a long, weird day, and she wanted more than anything to wake up, curled cosily at the bottom of Adora's bed. "Now can you _please_ tell me what's going on?"

"Catra. The sword is not meant for you. You must deliver it to Adora. Etheria has need of her. She must answer it's call. She _must_ fight for the honour of Grayskull." 

"For the honour of what now? And Adora doesn't _have_ to do _anything at all_." She wasn't sure if holograms could pick up aggression, but every syllable she spoke was inflicted with pure rage. "I don't understand!"

"You will." 

-

"Hey! She's awake!"

Catra slowly opened her eyes. She was dimly aware of an aching pain in her spine and what felt like rope burn around her wrists. She struggled to move, and found that her hands and feet were tightly knotted. "What have you done to me?" she growled.

"Quiet, Horde spy, I ask the questions. How did you make it this far into the Whispering Woods?" The purple haired one was clearly trying to be intimidating, but the pink sparkles that surrounded her really didn't help Catra's strange desire to laugh.

"I took a skiff," she said slowly and sarcastically. "With my friend, Ador- hey! Where's Adora? What have you done to her? Where's the… _her…_ sword?"

"I _said_ , I ask the questions!" She paused. "Who's Adora?"

"The blonde one. Poofy hair. You know. Came in the skiff with me?" Catra rolled her eyes.

"Well then, it's not her sword," she said, holding it up tauntingly to Catra's face. "The Whispering Woods is under the Rebellion's protection. You were lucky to make it as far as you did. Come on, Bow. Let's get this spy back to Bright Moon where she can be interrogated properly."

With a sinking feeling in her stomach, Catra realised that what she'd already suspected was true: she'd been captured by _princesses._

"This is perfect," the sparkly one whispered to her… guard? ally? friend, even? "Not only do we First Ones tech for the rebellion, we've also captured a Horde spy. Maybe mom will finally be impressed!"

As much as she hated to admit it, Catra felt a weird flash of sympathy towards the princess. She remembered, back when she was barely a kitten, bringing Shadow Weaver things in the hope that they would impress her. "Face it, Sparkles. If your mom's not already impressed with you, she never will be."

"That's not true! And this is a _private conversation_ , Horde Scum!"

"Listen, I've spent my whole life doing impossible feat aftet impossible feat, trying to impress a person I cared about. Didn't work."

"Perhaps that's because you're literally from the _Evil_ Horde?"

That stung a lot more than it should have. "You're one to talk, _princess_ ," she growled.

"On your feet!" Sparkles said, smashing the sword down between Catra's toes. The brunette hissed, digging her claws firmly into the ground. _You'll be sorry for this when Adora gets here._

-

"You positive we're going the right way, Glimmer?"

The trio had stumbled their way over countless tree roots and through what seemed to Catra like an infinite number of briar patches, Though she would never admit it (least of all to a princess), she was completely exhausted. The princess and her… sidekick's (Catra still wasn't quite sure of the relationship between the two of them)… constant bickering did nothing to improve her mood.

"I know what I'm _doing_ , Bow. Can you please just… _trust me_ , for once?" She rolled her eyes towards Catra in an almost friendly manner and looked so exactly like Adora that for a second Catra found herself grinning back at her. 

"You know I always trust you," Bow interrupted, startling Catra back into her senses. She dropped the princess's gaze and scowled. "But I'm starting to get a little freaked out. I mean, I pretty much grew up in these woods and I've never even seen this part of them. I've heard stories about weird stuff out here."

"It's fine, okay?" Again, Catra felt a strange sense of sympathy towards the princess. This was so much like one of her training exercises where Adora insisted on _doubting_ Catra's abilities in the most _annoying_ self-righteous way. "Just let me figure this out!"

"Okay! ...touchy." he added in an undertone, and moved over towards Catra. "Sorry about her. Usually she's really nice." Catra glared at him. "Not much for talking, huh?"

"You know Sparkles here is a _princess_ , right?" Catra burst out, more for her own benefit that for anyone else's. "How can you follow her?"

"I could say the same for you and the Horde."

"That's different!"

"Different how?"

"Princesses are…" Catra struggled to remember what Commander Cobalt had said to them in the last lecture. "...violent… uhhh… _instigators_ … who spread chaos and… have no control over their own powers..." she finished lamely as Glimmer- _Sparkles_ \- (albeit with some shouting and unnecessary hand flapping not entirely unlike Catra's own) expertly teleported around the glade.

"You've never actually _met_ a princess, have you?" Bow inquired, annoying Catra even more by _actually bending down_ to look her in the eye.

"What's that got to do with it?"

"So basically, you're just taking Hordak's word for it that all princesses are evil?"

Catra didn't really have an answer to that. "Well, I could ask the same of you. Have you ever met a Horde soldier before?" she asked, inwardly groaning at how obvious it was that she was ducking the question.

Glimmer's face, which had been almost friendly just a few seconds ago, seemed to close down. She wrenched aside a tree branch and pulled Catra towards the opening. The captive stumbled out into the light, her tail twitching and her ears pricked. It was already morning. Adora should have gotten back to the Fright Zone by now. _Adora should have come for me by now._ She pushed that thought out of her head, and focused on her surroundings. 

She was standing on a pile of bricks. Her bare feet scraped against the rough edges of the stone. A couple of old wooden boards littered the ground, and damaged bots lay scattered across the clearing. It looked very much like a typical Horde dumping ground. She couldn't understand why she had been brought here.

And then suddenly she did, and her blood turned to ice. "This was a village once, wasn't it? I- what happened to it?"

"Don't play dumb with me," Sparkles spat at her face. "I bet you were part of the raiding party that did this."

"This… this was the _Horde_ ? The _Horde_ did this?"

Bow and Glimmer's unflinching gazes answered her better than words could possibly have done.

"I knew we were bad, but…" Catra paused as she watched a child's doll flutter weakly amidst the destruction. _This wasn't a heavily armed fortress or a camp full of dangerous rebels. This was a civilian town._ "This is beyond what I'd imagined."

Glimmer radiated a wave of fury and grief that, if she was being entirely honest, scared Catra more than a little. Then again, Catra was rarely entirely honest. "Ever since the Horde got here, they've been poisoning our land, burning our cities, destroying everything in their path. If you knew they were bad, then why didn't you leave them?"

"Because I never had a choice! Adora found me in a box at the edge of the Fright Zone and Shadow Weaver took me in. They may not be great, but they're all I have. We aren't all as lucky as you, princess. We don't all have magic powers and palaces and families and friends and people who actually care about us. So shut up with your stupid little Miss Perfect attitude, and let's just get wherever we're going already!" The last words came out as more of a strangled gasp than a triumphant finale, but both Glimmer and Bow took a step back from her. She was filled with a strange desire to apologize, but clenched her jaw tight. _I'll never apologize to anyone._ _Ever._

"She's right. Let's just… get this over with." Sparkles said, teleporting away in a flash of pink glitter. Catra resisted the urge to yell "coward" at her disappearing form, though she wasn't entirely sure why. A sense of unease still lingered in the back of her mind, and her tail twitched. _No. This is all wrong. It doesn't matter what they do. Me and Adora look out for each other. And soon we'll be calling the shots._ She ignored the tiny voice at the back of her mind pointing out that if Adora was actually looking out for her then she should already be here. _I don't need her crusading in like some stupid hero. I can save myself._

"There's something out there. Something big." Sparkles announced, breathless.

"How big?" Bow was clearly on edge.

The ground began to tremble beneath them. The trees burst apart to reveal a… a _creature_ was the best word Catra could find for the gigantic bug-eyed monster charging frantically at them. She yelped, and sprang out of the way.

"Ohhh… so pretty big then." Bow whispered, already drawing an arrow. Glimmer was already flinging bursts of what looked like pink glitter at the beast, not seeming to care that they were bouncing straight off its skin. Catra slunk away and began working on untying the knots around her hands. They fell away after only a few seconds, and she allowed herself a grim smile of satisfaction. She was about to walk away when she noticed a faint blue glow illuminating an area a little ways off from where the monster was attacking Glimmer and Bow. _The sword_.

It was only a matter of seconds before Catra had it within a moment of her grasp. It would only be a matter of seconds before she escaped with it and bring it back to the Fright Zone. But somehow, for some unknown reason, she hesitated. 

Well. Maybe not that unknown.

_"Ever since the Horde got here, they've been poisoning our land, burning our cities, destroying everything in their path."_

The skiff driving off. Adora leaving her in the woods. Bow smiling down at Glimmer with love and tenderness in his eyes.

_"So basically, you're just taking Hordak's word for it that all princesses are evil?"_

The ruined village. Adora's promotion. Shadow Weaver leaving Catra in the dust. _Adora_ leaving Catra in the dust. Glimmer teleporting Bow out of the way of the monster.

_"You've never actually met a princess, have you?"_

Glimmer grinning sideways at her. Glimmer saving Bow. Bow saving Glimmer. Neither of them giving up.

_"If you knew they were bad, then why didn't you leave them?"_

Bow and Glimmer could be killed any second. _I might never get this chance again._

"Hey bug brain! Over here!" she yelled desperately, snatching up the sword and holding it high up to the air. The gemstone embedded in the hilt shuddered, and the sword itself shook uncontrollably. The creature changed direction and began to charge straight towards her. Catra screwed her eyes tight shut.

"You must deliver the sword to Adora," a voice rang in her head, though it was broken up almost unrecognisably. It reminded her vaguely of the time the communications system in the Fright Zone had gone down. "She must… must.. must… answer Etheria's call. She must fight for the honour of Grayskull."

The last words rolled off Catra's tongue before she knew what was happening. "For the honour of Grayskull!"

The gemstone shuddered again. And suddenly everything went black.


	3. The Sword: Part II

Catra's muscles seemed to almost ripple under her skin, which was glowing eerily. Her hair flowed out behind her head and her mask got suddenly lighter around her head. Her clothes were also changing around her, and she felt her ears swoop back. She wondered distantly if she should fight this or scream or do  _ anything at all _ , but it all seemed to be happening from a long way off. The blue light had encased her, caught her under its spell. She put out a hand, almost by instinct, and noticed a golden armband wrapped around it. The hair now swooping around her was uniformly blonde. The exhaustion that had been haunting her throughout the day had finally left her, and the aching in her tail and her legs and her feet was completely gone. She felt, for what was maybe the first time in her whole life, utterly at peace with the world.

"Glimmer?" Bow's voice hissed, cutting through her thoughts. She blinked. She was standing in the Whispering Woods, with Glimmer and Bow on either side of her and the creature they had just been fighting pressed close to her hand, its eyes closed.  _ Why doesn't this scare me? _

"Yeah, I see her, Bow!" Glimmer hissed back, in a sort of strangled whisper that, if Catra had been in her usual state of mind, she would probably have mocked. She let her hand drop, and the creature started to shuffle away.

"Okay. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just me."

It was then that Catra looked down at herself. The panic she probably should have been feeling all this time suddenly rushed back to her. She was at  _ least  _ two feet taller than she ought to have been, and she was dressed in a white tutu with a pinkish-red cape billowing out from her back. Her leggings were white, too, and her boots had gold and blue markings on them. A band ran around her head that felt suspiciously like a tiara. She screamed.

"What have you  _ done _ to me? Get it off me!" her tail lashed desperately as she tried to peel off her armband.

"What do you mean what have  _ I _ done to you?" Glimmer asked indignantly.

"Everyone knows princesses have powers! You must have done something to me! Stop it! Stop it right now!"

"Glimmer may have magic, but she can't actually change your form!"

"How do you know? Maybe she's been lying to you!"

She hadn't even realized she was still clutching the sword until Bow wrenched it out of her grasp. The blue light began to fade, and the pain Catra had been feeling came rushing back to her in a wave of exhaustion. 

"It doesn't matter what you did," he said firmly. "It matters that you  _ don't do it again _ ."

There was a rumbling in the ground beneath them. The beast, which just a few moments ago Catra had felt so… connected to, was charging at them again, its many yes lit up with unmistakable fury.

"Do it again!" Sparkles screamed, shoving the sword into Catra's claws. 

Before she could so much as blink, Bow had snatched it back. "We can't just trust her, Glimmer. Or have you forgotten everything the Horde's done to us? All the people we've lost?"

Glimmer glared at him. "I think I know-"

"This is very sweet and sentimental and all," Catra interrupted. "But I think right now our best plan of action is to RUN AWAY FROM THE BIG SCARY MONSTER?"

Glimmer groaned. "You're right. Come  _ on _ , Bow."

The trio ran desperately through the forest, the monster (quite literally, in Catra's case) close on their tails. Glimmer was screaming, Bow was fumbling with his bow and arrows and Catra herself was hardly looking where she was going until the three of them tumbled down into a gorge. She blinked. They were standing outside what looked like a giant fortress, covered with vines and crumbling slightly with age. A doorway stretched out in front of them, etched with a strange symbol that Catra had the oddest feeling about, as though she'd seen it before somewhere long ago. "What is this place?" she said, wonderingly.

"No idea, but in there's gotta be better than out here!" Bow glanced pointedly at the beast, now scrabbling to get into the gorge.

"Everyone, grab on, I can get us in there!" 

"Glimmer, no! You've never teleported three people before."

"Do you have a better idea?"

Catra stood looking at the symbol on the door. A part of her mind seemed to be speaking to her, one she hadn't even known had existed.  _ Eternia _ , it said. It sounded like a name, though of what Catra wasn't entirely sure. It sounded familiar in a way. 

"Eternia," she whispered, and the door sprang open.

-

"So, Horde soldier, have you always been able to read First Ones' writing?"

"Wanna tell us what exactly is going on here?"

Glimmer and Bow were glaring at her, their faces illuminated by a ball of glittery pink sparkles the princess had clearly conjured up. Catra rolled her eyes. "I don't know. I just read the word on the door, like a normal, ordinary person."

"Right…" Sparkles said, laughing infuriatingly. "You just… read a word in a language that no one's spoken for a thousand years, and the door just opened into a mysterious ancient ruin. Sure."

"What does it matter? I saved you, didn't I?" Catra said, glaring back at them both.

"That's… actually true." Glimmer said, cocking her head to one side. "I… thank you." She snatched the sword from Bow and started walking away.

Catra made to follow her, but Bow pulled her back. "Listen, Horde spy. Somehow, you managed to get Glimmer to trust you, and I trust anyone who Glimmer trusts. But if you hurt her, or anyone else, I promise you  _ will _ be sorry."

"Okay, okay, I get it!" Catra half-yelped, her tail bristling. She paused. "So, the plan is basically to walk through this unknown, potentially unstable building that we know absolutely nothing about in the hope that somehow we'll find an exit?"

"That… about sums it up." Bow winced, and Catra's mismatched eyes lit up.

"Sounds like my kind of plan!" she said, and before she could think herself out of it she added "I'm Catra, by the way."

"Bow," he said, holding out his hand.

"I know," she said, but shook it anyway.

They walked along, side by side (Catra couldn't tell if she was pleased or annoyed by this), until they caught up with Glimmer. The princess was staring intently at the sword, whispering, and almost jumped a mile when Bow put his hand down on her shoulder. Catra was willing to bet that the words she had been whispering were "for the honour of grayskull", and she was surprised to find that she wasn't at all annoyed by the fact that it hadn't worked.  _ That sword is truly mine.  _ Well.  _ And Adora's. _

"What are we doing?" Bow asked nonchalantly, coming to a halt beside Glimmer and staring at the sword too. 

"Nothing!" Sparkles said in the opposite of a nonchalant tone. "I mean, uhh… look at these carvings! I think this might be a First Ones' ruin."

Catra squinted at the carvings. They were quite angular, not unlike the hologram she'd seen in her… vision? dream? or something else entirely? "What's a 'First One'?"

"You've never heard of the First Ones?" Glimmer asked, almost indignantly.  _ How is this princess so infuriating? _

"The First Ones are the original settlers of Etheria," Bow piped up helpfully. "They disappeared a thousand year ago, but they left behind a lot of old ruins and technology. Like this place." 

Catra's eyes narrowed. "So, what happened to them? Why aren't they here now?"

"No one knows. They just disappeared. The Horde didn't tell you about them?"

"Shadow W- the Horde- wouldn't trust me with anything."

Sparkles was silent for a moment, and then she held out a hand to Catra. The brunette took it reluctantly, and the gesture made her feel irrationally safer. The princess was the first one to speak. "So is this… Shadow Weaver… the one you spent your whole life trying to impress, or was it Adora?"

Catra opened her mouth to assure her that the fault lay _entirely_ with Shadow Weaver and not at all with Adora, but the words didn't come out. "Trust you to remember that," she snarled, snatching her hand away from the princess's.

Bow, who  _ clearly _ hadn't been paying attention to their conversation, sighed. "It'll take forever to find a way out at this rate." He gasped. "Hey! Wanna turn on some lights, Catra?"

"I don't know how to do that," she growled. Just thinking about the Horde made her feel irritable. _"If you knew they were bad, then why didn't you leave them?"_ She growled inwardly. _I've known Glimmer and Bow for what, a couple hours? And they're already messing with my brain? What would Adora say?_

"Maybe there's a magic word. Ooh, what's the First Ones' word for 'lights'?"

"I don't know," she said through gritted teeth. "I'm not magic."

"Everyone, stand back," Sparkles said, slightly threateningly. 

"Uh, Glimmer?" her friend hissed. "Maybe you should take it easy. We're a long way from Bright Moon. It'll be awhile until you can recharge-"

"Bow!" she yelped, but Catra had already heard enough.

"You have to recharge your powers? Are you serious?"

"Can we not talk about this in front of the Horde spy?"  _ Oh, so that's what I am to her now _ , an unhelpful voice whispered in Catra's head. She scowled.

A blinding flash of pink light (not unlike the blue glow of her-  _ Adora's _ \- sword, Catra found herself noting) seemed to fill the whole hall and she screwed her eyes tight shut. When she opened them again, the whole room was illuminated in pink sparkles. Catra would have laughed, but something about the night had knocked all the laughter out of her. She looked around, and let out an involuntary gasp of wonder. The few carvings that Glimmer's ball of energy had shown seemed to be part of a larger picture, some sort of mural maybe. 

Beside her, Glimmer groaned in pain and staggered backwards. Almost by instinct, Catra reached out a hand to catch her. Bow glared at her. "Let go of her. I know you're just trying to get the sword."

"That's not even true!" Catra said, insulted.  _ No. I don't need your good opinion of me. I don't need  _ anyone's  _ good opinion of me. _

"I'm fine!" Glimmer said, standing up in a rush. She looked around her, the awe that Catra had felt just a few moments before written clearly on her face. "Oh hey," she said, pointing at a mural on the far side of the room. "That's you!"

Catra looked up at where she pointed, her ears pricked and her fur standing on edge. A warrior stood before her, drawn in the same angular style that she'd come to associate with the first ones. The warrior herself had golden armour plates around her chest and shoulders. A tiara perched atop her flowing blonde hair, and a pinkish-red cape billowed out behind her. A very familiar sword lay at her feet.

"That… doesn't look anything like me," she said at length.

"No, I mean, the other you. The scary lady in the cape."

"The one who  _ doesn't exist _ ," Bow interrupted pointedly, but Catra barely heard him.

"That was… me?"

"You can read that inscription, right? What's it say?"

"How am I supposed to k-" Catra began, but stopped herself. The symbols seemed to be sliding into place on her brain, just like the one on the door. "She-Ra," she said quietly. "She-Ra."

"Greetings, administrator," a voice called from just behind her ear. She whirled around, and found herself face to face with the hologram from her vision. It seemed more stable somehow, and though it retained its angular appearance it looked much more human than it had before. 

"It's you!" she gasped, at the same time as Glimmer whispered "What is this?"

"What is your query?" it droned, mechanically.

"I think it's some kind of ancient hologram," Bow said, squinting at it.

"What is your query?"

"Uh… hi!" Bow began. "What is this place? How do we get out of here?"

"What is your query?"

"Welp. She's broken."

"She's old," Glimmer piped up, waving a hand through the purple-tinged hologram. "I'm surprised any of this stuff still works at all."

"Administrator not detected," it-  _ she _ , Catra supposed- intoned. "Lockdown initiated.

"I didn't do it!" Glimmer yelled frantically.

"No. No. No lockdown! No lockdown!" Bow cried desperately as the doors began to slam shut and the ceiling began to crumble. "You gotta get it to stop!"

"Query not recognized."

"There's gotta be a password or something! You know the First Ones' language," he said, suddenly turning to Catra. "Work it out!"

"How am I supposed to work it out?" Catra demanded, more out of fear than anger. She yelped, and dodged a piece of falling ceiling. "Uh… Eternia! First Ones! She-Ra!" An image flashed into her brain. "Glimmer! I need the sword!"

Glimmer grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the way of a falling carving. "Hold on!" she half-screamed.

"Glimmer, no!" Bow's voice rang in her ears as the world was incased in a glowing light.

-

"Glimmer? Glimmer? Glimmer!" Bow was standing over his friend, his forehead creased. Catra wasn't sure if it would be better or worse for her to go over to them.

Glimmer groaned, and her eyes fluttered open. "Did it work?" she asked weakly.

Bow chuckled, and then his face became grave. "Yeah, it worked. Barely. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" she said, struggling to get up. "I think I used too much power getting us out of there."

"I don't know who could've predicted that... Oh, right. Me."

"Bow…"

"Like an hour ago."

"Bow!"

"Sorry. I'm just glad you're okay. No more teleporting for a while, okay. You could really hurt yourself."

"I'm fine, okay? Let's just get back to Bright Moon so I can recharge already," she said, standing up. Her eyes fell on Catra. "Why are you still here?"

It was one of Shadow Weaver's favorite things to say to Catra, but somehow when Glimmer did it it felt different. Warmer. She blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Bow and I are hardly a crack security team. You could've escaped at any time. Why didn't you?"

"I-" Catra began, but trailed off weakly.  _ Because Adora left me. Because the Horde never wanted me. Because I found a magic sword and a hologram and I think it's replaced my personality or brainwashed me or something. Because I don't know what's going on or what's happening. Because I've never had anyone look at me the way you and Bow look at me. Because you treat me like equals, and that's never happened before. And if I go back now, I'll be just another failed Horde soldier and I might never see you two again.  _ "I don't know. I guess I just wanted the sword."

"Then you should have it," Glimmer said, holding it out.

"Glimmer…" Bow hissed, warningly.

"Bow. I trust her. She  _ saved  _ us."

"That's true," he said doubtfully, looking her up and down. Catra squirmed. "Glimmer's mom knows more about First Ones' tech than anyone. She'll know what's going on with you and the sword for sure. So, if you want your questions answered, stick with us?"

Catra nodded, slowly, and took the sword from Glimmer's outstretched hand.

"Then let's go," the princess said, softly. "There should be a village a few miles from here. They'll be able to give us a ride back to Bright Moon. It'll be in and out." She smiled. "We've wasted too much time already."

-

Catra was already doubting herself by the time the trio had taken two steps forward. And now, dressed in a strange blue blanket with a flower in her hair and no red mask to keep it from falling over her face, she regretted her decision with a passion. Seeing crowds of people flocking around the village they were headed to really didn't help her to relax. It was the polar opposite of the Fright Zone- barely a piece of metal in sight, let alone any bots. The whole place was filled with colors, and people flocked the streets. Tables were piled high with something that definitely wasn't ration bars, and a strange sound, not unlike the time she and Adora had crawled into the Fright Zone drainage system and bashed around on the pipes, clogged the air. "What is this?" she asked, scowling down at the many brightly colored tents. 

"It's a festival!" Bow must have seen her confused expression because he continued his explanation. "Like, a big party." Catra blinked at him. He gasped. "You don't have  _ parties _ in the Fright Zone?"

"I know what you're thinking, Bow!" Glimmer said, annoyed. Did you even hear me? I know I said, in and out!"

"She's never been to a party before, Glimmer! This is serious."

The next thing she knew, she'd been whisked off her feet and forced into the screaming crowds. The sun was hot on the back of her neck, and her hair itched as it fell chaotically over her skin.

"So, seriously? No parties ever?" Bow asked, guiding her over to a table full of what looked like some kind of food. "What do you guys do on your birthday?"

"Huh?" Catra really didn't have time for Bow's made-up words. 

"No birthdays?! How is your life this sad?"

"My life  _ isn't _ sad. I have Adora."  _ Or at least, I thought I had Adora. But she's a part of the Horde. And I've abandoned the Horde.  _

A tiny nagging voice in her head told her that it wasn't too late to change her mind. 

As Bow pushed a plate of something suspiciously white and sticky, she realized that that part wasn't as tiny as she had originally thought. 

Tentatively, she poked at the quivering lump with her claws. It wobbled slightly, and she jumped back, her tail and ears standing up on edge. She sniffed it. It smelled… very different to anything she had ever seen before. She lifted the spoon to her mouth, and her mind exploded.

It wasn't that she hadn't had good food before. There was plenty of contraband in the Fright Zone if you knew where to find it, and really only Adora would be square enough to try. But this…  _ something _ … was like nothing Catra had ever tasted before. It was sweet, though not sickeningly so, and packed full of fresh flavours that she couldn't even begin to identify. It melted on her tongue almost instantly, leaving a lingering sensation of satisfaction. Catra shoved some more into her mouth and closed her eyes. It was even better than the time Lonnie had managed to get her hands on something called "honey". 

Glimmer, seemingly forgetting all about "in and out", led her off to something called a "dance". Normally, she knew she would hate it. It involved holding hands and following a leader, and Catra hated both of those things. Any sort of physical contact made her feel uncomfortable, especially with young children who could probably bite her head off at any moment. But like everything else that had happened to her that day, she found herself enjoying herself a tiny bit, even shouting back along with the rest of the crowd in the call and response.

Bow showed her around the tents, and people everywhere said "hello" to her- not like back in the Horde, where that word either sounded distinctly threatening or distinctly unwilling whenever it was directed towards her, it was a genuine acknowledgement that they were pleased by her presence. Catra simultaneously wanted to yell at them and tell them she didn't care at all and also bounce around out of pure joy like an utter maniac. She settled for the compromise of nodding her head slightly. 

They were about to exit the village when Bow suddenly stopped, and turned around sharply. Catra hissed, her claws drawn, ready to defend herself from any attackers that might throw themselves her way.

"What's happening? Why have we stopped?"

"The fortune teller's tent!" Bow squealed. 

Catra narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What's that? And what's wrong with it?"

"It's just that we haven't gone there yet!" 

Catra nodded slowly. The excitement of the day had begun to rub off on her, and her curiosity got the better of her. "What's the fortune teller?"

"She's AMAZING! She can see into the future and she tells you everything that's going to happen to you. She can see your whole life stretching out ahead of you…" he paused, seeing her face. "Catra? What's wrong?"

_ She can see your whole life stretching out ahead of you. She tells you everything that's going to happen to you.  _ An image of a red and black mask flitted into her brain and the fur on the back of her neck rose. "I think I'll pass on the fortune teller," she said, struggling to keep her voice even.

"Okay, suit yourself!" Bow said, the cheer in his voice returning. "I'll be right back." 

Catra swallowed hard, and watched his silhouette disappear into the tent. A few minutes later he was out, a dazed smile on his face. Catra clutched at him. "Are you okay?" she asked, panicking slightly. 

"Oh yeah, I'm fine!" he said, squinting at her concerned expression. "I can't bel-"

"What did she do to you?"

"Oh, she just told me some things. She says I can't tell you."

Catra had heard that line all her life. Adora had said it whenever she came back from her long "discussions" with Shadow Weaver, or when Kyle and Lonnie and Rogelio were talking, or when any of the other four had had a conversation with pretty much anyone at all. It had come to mean not so much "I can't tell you", and more "I could tell you, but I won't". She scowled down at the ground and blinked back tears. Her hands formed tight fists and her sharp claws dug into her skin. The whole floor seemed to be trembling.  _ Why is this such a big deal to me? I don't care about him. About  _ any  _ of them. _

Glimmer came rushing over to them, a wreath of flowers hanging awkwardly around her neck. "It's the Horde!" she screamed, and Catra realized with a start that the trembling ground was more than just a figment of her imagination. "They've found us!" She glared at Catra. "They've found  _ you _ ."

The first thought running through Catra's mind was of Adora. As the first shot rained down on the festival, she realized that this was no rescue mission. This was an attack.

"Get yourselves out of here," she said, quietly. "Get everyone else out too. I can get them to leave you alone. It was… really nice knowing you."

Glimmer was the first to figure it out."You're going back to them."

"They're my family. What choice do I have?"

"You  _ always _ have a choice," Glimmer said, backing away slowly. 

Catra stared at the princess for a long second, fighting the urge to reach out after her. "I said  _ go _ !" she shouted, and turned and started to and ran back to the Horde like the coward she was.

-

Catra flung off the blue shawl around her shoulders, and felt oddly uncomfortable in her red Horde uniform. She swallowed, and pulled the flower out of her tangled locks. She wasn't entirely sure where her mask was, but at least she looked more like a Horde soldier than a civilian. Her hand brushed against the cold hilt of the sword, and she felt a flash of gratitude towards the universe that Glimmer had forgotten to grab it back.  _ Or maybe she didn't forget it. Maybe she just… let me have it. _

She pushed that thought out of her mind and swallowed again, trying to focus on what she was doing and still not quite sure why she was doing it. Her tail lashed violently as she walked over to the head of the main tank, holding her head high. _This is stupid. Insane. I could be killed any second now. Why_ _am I doing this?_ The tank opened in a burst of steam and mechanics. A second later, Catra was knocked down almost onto the ground by one of the biggest hugs she had ever received. Blonde hair that she knew as well as her own covered her face, and she breathed in the familiar smell with relief. 

Her forehead creased as she inhaled the smell of garbage and burning metal. She'd never noticed that before. 

"Hey, Adora," she said, slowly.

"Catra! I was so worried! What happened to you?"

"Adora, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you!"

"Hey," Catra said, pushing herself up onto her elbows. "I asked first."

"I'm a Force Captain, remember? I'm leading the attack on Thaymor!"

"This is Thaymor?" Catra blinked. It had never occurred to her to ask for the name of the village. She shook her head. "Adora, you idiot, this isn't Thaymor! Thaymor is a heavily fortified rebel fortress. This is a civilian town."

"Shadow Weaver says that looks can deceive. We can't trust the Rebellion. Everyone knows the princesses have magical powers."

"Well, Shadow Weaver is wrong! Look around you, Adora! Manipulation is Shadow Weaver's whole thing! She's been messing with our heads since we were kids!"

"Catra, how can you say that? Shadow Weaver raised-" she stopped abruptly, her eyes catching on Catra's belt. "Catra, that's my sword!"

Catra felt a rush of possessiveness over the sword, but she swallowed it down. "You can have the sword. But you have to stop this attack. You're the only one who can."

"Catra, what happened to you?" she said, squinting at her friend. "What have they done to you?"

"Call off the attack."

Adora took a deep breath. "Cadet. As your Force Captain, I order you to stand down and  _ give me that sword _ ."

"Oh, so it's like that, is it?" Catra growled, feeling a powerful burst of rage towards her… friend? Were they even friends anymore? 

_ So is this… Shadow Weaver… the one you spent your whole life trying to impress, or was it Adora? _

"When you disappeared, I didn't want to believe it was on purpose. But Shadow W-"

The scales fell from Catra's eyes, and she brought the sword crashing down. "You're wrong, Adora. You're wrong about the Horde, you're wrong about Shadow Weaver, you're wrong about the Horde, and you're wrong about me. And I will never,  _ never _ , let you win."

"Catra, what are you-"

"For the honour of Grayskull!"

The whole world seemed to glitch as the sword shuddered violently. Catra felt herself beginning to change; her hair flowing out wildly behind her, her ears elongating, her whole body growing taller and stronger, her cape billowing out behind her. It felt oddly like coming home.

She raised the sword again and pointed it directly at the Horde Tanks. A blast of energy radiating from the sword knocked out the guns. A feeling of power rippled through her body as she turned on Adora. The girl's face stared back at her in terror. She walked towards her, holding the sword high above Adora's head, slowly gathering energy. The Force Captain screwed her eyes tight shut.

Catra let the sword fall. "I'm going to miss you, Adora," she said at length. "But you made your choice. And now I'm making mine."

She walked away.

"Catra!" Glimmer and Bow came running towards her. They enveloped her in a gentle hug. 

It smelt of hazelnuts, and possibilities.


	4. Dreaming

_Adora doesn't know how long she stays there, crouched under the demolished guns. All she knows is that Catra has left her. All she knows is that she's alone. All she knows is that when she looks up, Shadow Weaver is standing behind her, her gloved fingers resting possessively over Adora's shoulders. A wall of darkness crashes over her, and she sinks back into oblivion._

_When she wakes up, she's back in her bed, and there's an empty bunk above her._

_"Hey! Lonnie! You awake?" she hisses._

_"Yeah, what is it?” the cadet murmurs sleepily._

_"Where's Catra?"_

_There's a pause. "Who's Catra?"_

_Adora blinks at her. "Catra! The fifth cadet in our squadron? You can't possibly have forgotten her?"_

_Lonnie looks right back at her. "What are you talking about, Adora? It's just the four of us. It's always been just the four of us. You've just been dreaming."_

_Adora is about to correct her, when she stops. The faint impression of the fifth squadmate starts to fade away. "You're right," she says, slowly. "I probably was."_

_She rolls over and pulls a blanket over her head. She dreams of a pair of mismatched eyes and a princess she has to kill._


	5. Razz

Bright Moon wasn't nearly as bad as Catra expected. It was kind of beautiful, to tell the truth. It was elegant, in a way that Thaymor never could be, but it also felt weirdly like home, or someplace that could be home, maybe, one day, if anywhere could ever be a home to her without Adora. Then again, Adora was her enemy now. And Catra was going to bring her down. 

Of course, Bright Moon didn't look nearly as homely when you were dangling under it knowing that one wrong footing could (and from what she'd seen of Bow, probably would) cost you your life. As a general rule, Catra wasn't remotely scared of heights- in fact, she loved them. They made her feel less alone. They were also the one place Shadow Weaver and Adora couldn't reach her. But this sort of height made her feel vulnerable and unprotected. Despite Bow's constant reassurances that he and Glimmer "totally came here all the time", the precarious nature of the journey (and not to mention the fact that Glimmer had deemed it better to go in through the  _ actual front door _ ) made her seriously doubt that anyone in their right mind would attempt to enter by this "back way".

By the time they had reached the top of the precipice, Catra was about ready to walk out- in fact, if it hadn't been for the terrifying drop of death and doom waiting just below her claws, she probably would have. Bow, standing beside her and gasping for air, looked exactly how she felt. 

He led her inside through a narrow opening and grabbed something that resembled a scratchy brown sack more than it did a piece of clothing. "Oh! Hey, here! Why don't you put this robe on? No reason!" he said, chuckling nervously.

'You're trying to hide me." It was a statement, not a question.

"What? No!" Bow attempted to look scandalised, but Catra's sceptical look seemed to put him off. "Okay, maybe. The people of Bright Moon might be a  _ little _ less welcoming to a Horde soldier than me and Glimmer. I mean,  _ former  _ Horde soldier," he added quickly, as Catra's eyes narrowed. 

She crossed her arms. "How little?"

"Think… pitchforks and torches?"

There didn't seem to be anything she could say to that. She followed Bow through the long, empty corridors. It was completely silent. Catra had rarely experienced silence before- the Fight Zone had always been filled with bots clanking and pipes dripping and countless other noises that she'd never really thought about before today. The only time there was ever true silence was when Shadow Weaver was around. Maybe it was her shadow magic, or maybe it was the respect all the cadets had for her (Catra highly doubted this), but every noise seemed to stop when she walked into a room. Either way, the muffled, pastel shaded corridors felt every bit as oppressive to her as the broken pipework and sharp metallic edges of her former home.

"Here we are," Bow said at length, gesturing towards a gold-plated doorway that looked exactly the same as every other stupid doorway they'd passed in the whole place. "Hey, Catra, you don't mind if I leave you here for a little while? I really ought to go check on Glimmer. She's been gone a long time and I'm worried about her."

Catra did mind, quite a lot, actually, but she managed to shake her head. The room itself wasn't that bad, nothing like what she'd expected after seeing the pink, glittery princess. She sat down gingerly on one of the cushioned window seats, grateful for the sound of the waterfall trickling gently down ( _ who had a literal waterfall in their bedroom? Glimmer, apparently _ ). 

A stuffed toy with gigantic ears lay on the other side of the room. Without really knowing why she was doing it, she crossed the room and hugged it tightly to her chest. Tears began to trickle down her cheeks, and for what was maybe the first time in her whole life, she let them fall freely. The toy's ears felt soft on her cheek, and her hair, straggled and mud coated as it was, fell over her face as she flopped down on the padded cushions. 

She wasn't aware that the door had opened until she felt a hand rest gently on her shoulder. She scrambled to her feet and saluted. "Yes, Shadow Weaver!"

"Uh, Catra?" Bow's face swam into view. "I'm not Shadow Weaver."

"I'm sorry!" Catra yelped, her fur standing on edge. She wasn't quite sure how to react. "It was a reflex!"

"Yeah, I can understand that," Bow said, sitting down on the cushion beside her. "You must've been in the Horde for a long time."

"For as long as I can remember," she murmured softly, almost without realizing it. She clenched her teeth to prevent herself from blurting out anything else she might regret, and set her jaw. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be checking on Sparkles?"

It was the wrong thing to say and she knew it as soon as she said it. Bow's reaction only served as confirmation as he stood up briskly, refusing to meet her eye.

"Yeah, I checked on  _ Glimmer _ . She's doing fine, thanks for asking."

"I- how did things go with her mom?"

"She's still recharging. Queen Angella looks pretty mad."

"Oh."

Bow started to walk away, but Catra clasped at his hand. "Look, Bow, I-" she began, unsure of what she was going to say. "I'm sorry you had to find me like… I'm not usually like this." 

Bow sat back down again, smiling at her. His eyes landed on the toy creature next to her, and his smile turned into a grin that lit up his face. "Hey, it's Kowl!"

"Huh?" 

"I got my brother to make him for Glimmer years ago. He's a sort of koala-owl crossover. Hence the name. We used to pretend he was the last of his species, and that he was a loyal fighter for the rebellion." Bow looked as though he was seeing something far away, the ghost of a smile still etched on his face.

"Me and Adora used to play stuff like that," she added, almost instinctively. "Y'know. Games or whatever. We used to make shadows on the walls with our fingers, and my favorite was the dragon. Shadow Weaver was really mad whenever she caught us at it, maybe she thought we were mocking her power or something. Anyway, Adora stopped after a while. But I don't think I ever did."

Bow stared at her for a few seconds, then unexpectedly pulled her into a hug. Catra didn't bother to fight it. 

"You must think I'm really weak now," she said, laughing slightly, though the words tasted bitter on her tongue. "First you find me crying, now this-"

"Catra, crying doesn't make you weak!" Bow sounded truly outraged. He put his hands on Catra's shoulders and looked her directly in the eye. "It shows you have emotions."

Catra shrugged. "Yeah, well, exactly."

"Having emotions isn’t-" Bow began passionately, but was cut off by a sudden burst of pink sparkles.

"I'm here!" Glimmer announced triumphantly. Her face turned grave just a few seconds later. "Okay, so my mom's on her way, but no one panic."

Catra felt a wave of cold dread wash over her. "What?"

"I said no-one panic! Don’t worry, she’ll love you. All you have to do is use the sword to transform into She-Ra before she gets here."

"Wait, we’re jumping straight to She-Ra with your mom?" Bow put in, a concerned look on his face. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I don’t think my mom is going to buy, 'Hey mom, we found a Horde soldier. Can we keep her?' But my mom is gonna  _ love _ She-Ra. We can ease her into the Horde stuff later."

"Look, Sparkles," Catra interrupted. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don't think I can just 'turn on' She-Ra. I've only ever done it when someone I cared about- I mean,  _ someone _ \- was in danger."

"How hard can it be? Sword, magic words, poof! She-Ra!"

Catra rolled her eyes, but her face must have betrayed her true feelings. "Hey. You’re gonna do great, okay?" Glimmer said softly. "Bow and I will go buy you some time. Just hang out here with the sword and think She-Ra thoughts. I believe in you!"

She grabbed Bow and teleported away, leaving Catra alone with the sword.

-

Five minutes had passed, and Catra still hadn't managed to transform. She had tried everything (almost ripping Glimmer's bedroom in half in the process)- shouting, screaming, coaxing, whispering, commanding- but nothing worked. The sword stayed exactly as it was, and so did she. She growled in frustration and panic, her claws digging into the woodwork on the side of the window frame.  _ Glimmer's mom will be here soon, and I still haven't transformed. If what Glimmer says is true, she's probably going to  _ kill  _ me.  _ She looked out across the wide palace lawn, and realized that it wasn't actually all that far away from Glimmer's window.  _ I don't know much about Bright Moon, or the villages around it. But I do know that out there has got to be better than in here. _ Before she could talk herself out of it, she jumped off the ledge.

Dewdrops were still clinging to the grass, and it squished satisfyingly between her toes. Growing up in the Fright Zone meant that she had never seen much greenery, but Bright Moon was practically surrounded by lush green and purple forests. There was enough space for her to properly swing her sword around out here. She clutched it tightly and gritted her teeth. 

"For the honour of Grayskull!"

A bolt of energy blasted out of the sword, hitting a nearby tree. A startled yelping noise came from the leaves, and something that looked faintly purple began to plummet to the ground.  _ That's all I'm good for, isn't it? Hurting things. People.  _ The creature seemed to be writhing in the air, and Catra watched in terror and awe as two pink wings sprouted from its back. She turned away, almost ashamed of what she had done. Of what  _ the sword  _ had done. She chucked it angrily as far away from her as she could get it. It spun in a chaotic arc and landed in the direction of what looked a little like… a rebel camp. 

The reality of what she had done sank in. She dashed after the sword, her hair whipping into her face as she fought the wind that seemed to be attempting to blow her off her feet. 

She was a fast runner, and it was unlikely anyone would have taken the sword in so short a time, but all the same she breathed a sigh of relief when she finally had it within her claws. There was almost no-one out in the town, though she could hear faint snatches of conversation floating gently in the wind. With a start, she noticed that the purple creature was headed straight for the village. It looked kind of like a cat, Catra supposed, with slick violet fur and dark purple stripes. Its wings were a pale pink, and the fur on its neck was ruffled up, making it look almost like a mane. Its claws, teeth and horn were bared aggressively and its bright blue eyes shone with a dangerous light. It was headed straight for the camp. 

"For the honour-" she began, but she was cut off before she could finish.

"Horde soldier!"

Her immediate reaction was to spin around, looking for the intrepid Horde soldier who had managed to come this far into Bright Moon. It wasn't until the rebels started to charge at her that she registered that it was her they had been pointing at. 

And that this was what Bow had meant by pitchforks and torches.

"Wait!" she cried desperately, backing away with her hands in the air. "I'm not with the Horde anymore! I don't want to hurt you!"

The crowd kept coming, ignoring Catra's pleas entirely. She turned and turned and tried to flee back down the long fields, but the villagers (and what looked like a whole bunch of Bright Moon guards) blocked her escape. She stumbled and tripped on a loose rock and lost her footing, sending her careening down into a small stream, arrows pelting down after her. Her leggings were torn and her whole body was coated with mud. She  _ hated  _ water. 

The villagers were still coming for her. Aggressively blinking back tears, she staggered off into the shelter of the trees nearby. She trailed the sword along the ground, wondering distantly what had happened to the flying cat. A scraping of metal made her ears prick, and an involuntary gasp escaped her lips.

"Hmm? Did you hear something?” a high-pitched, slightly accented voice resounded through the forest. "Yes, I did, too. Who's there? Is that you, Adora dearie?"

Catra scowled, and stepped out into the open. A little purple-skinned old lady with large glasses was sweeping the forest floor. "No. I'm Catra.  _ Catra.  _ And how do  _ you  _ know Adora?"

"Oh, Mara, dearie! Is that you? About time you got here. Come on now, there's no time to waste. Let's get going," she said, pointing towards a little hut.  _ Mara is at least a little closer to my actual name. At least she's trying. And it's definitely a lot better than Adora. _

Then she registered what the old woman had said. "You were waiting for… me?"

"We made plans to go berry-picking today!" she laughed, shoving a basket into Catra's claws. 

The girl narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Look, you've mistaken me for someone else. I don't know who you are."

"No, you don't know Madame Razz, do you?" Ah. So her name was Madame Razz. And she seemed to be finally catching on. "You’re not quite the same. This is the wrong time for my Mara, isn't it? Now you've got the sword, instead."

"Wait, what?" 

"Ah! Well, never mind. You're here now, and there’s still berries to be picked."

She shuffled out of the hut, and Catra dashed after her, cutting her off. "What do you know about my sword? Have you seen it before?

Razz chuckled. "Don't ask such silly questions, Adora. You know you bring that sword around here all the time."

"I"m not Adora," she said through gritted teeth. "And, um- exactly  _ how _ long have you been living out here in the woods alone?"

"Alone? Me? Oh, no! I’m not alone. I’ve got Broom here!" Catra blinked at the inanimate branch, wondering if it would do something. It didn't. "And my friend Loo-Kee, too, but he’s always hiding."

Razz may have been short, but she was also fast, and Catra struggled to keep up with her. It was obvious that this woman was completely nuts, but then again she had known about the sword, and more importantly she seemed to know Adora.

"Ah! Here we are," Razz said eventually, hopping down from a large moss-covered rock and pushing aside a tree branch to reveal… well, Catra didn't quite know how to describe it. It was a tall building, with lines running up and down in complex patterns she could hardly comprehend. Even though it had clearly been neglected for many, many years, it had an air of grandeur about it that time couldn't possibly wear away.

"This is a First Ones ruin," she said, not so much to Razz as to herself.

"And the best place to pick fresh berries!" a voice called from high up above her.

"Hey, be careful up there! That thing’s not safe!" Catra said, alarmed. 

The structure began to light up beneath Razz as she climbed, much higher than was entirely (or even remotely) sensible.  _ How does this thing still work?  _ The old woman placed her wrinkled hand on the top of it, and a green light bathed the whole ruin as she tripped off. Catra ran to catch her out of instinct, though she wasn't sure where that instinct came from. You looked out for yourself in the Horde. At least, you were supposed to. And Adora  _ had  _ always been a model cadet… 

"Oh, dearie me! That was quite a tumble, eh?" Razz said, pulling her back to the clearing. A light flashed from the top of the ruin, and the sky seemed to light up with tiny glowing balls.

"Stars?" she said, confused. Everyone knew there weren't stars on Etheria. There hadn't been any for thousands of years.

"Oh, we used to come here to look at the stars," Razz said, a dreamy expression on her face. "Do you remember, Mara? They’re all gone now. What happened to the stars?

Catra was tired of hearing the ramblings of a probably insane old woman. "Look, I know you brought me here for a reason. If you know something about the sword, about me, you need to tell me!"

"I brought you here to pick berries, and your basket’s still empty. So, come on, silly," Razz said, yanking her arm and literally sweeping her off her feet.

"Razz, please!"

"Eh? What’s that, dearie? I don't have my glasses; you’ll have to speak up."

Her glasses were resting on her face, and besides, that was a stupid reason for not being able to hear. "I know you can hear me." She paused, her ears drooping slightly. "I need you to tell me what to do."

"How would Madame Razz know what you should do?"

"Look, I left my whole life behind because of some stupid sword and an hour at a festival. But the Rebellion hates me, and I can't take down the Horde all on my own. I can't take  _ Adora  _ down on my own. I want to destroy them. But I do want to do the right thing, it's just… I don't know what that is anymore.

Razz said nothing, but led her to a stop in front of a field full of Horde war machines. 

"Why are you taking me here?" Catra burst out angrily. "I know the Horde is evil, okay? So I left them, and now I'm paying the price."  _ I will not cry in front of her. I will not cry in front of her. _

"It’s the same old story, dearie. Wicked people destroy what they cannot control. Once, the princesses would have protected us. But these days, they stay in their castles, protecting only their own lands. Meanwhile, the Horde creeps ever closer. You’re very like my Mara, you know? Brave, loyal, but afraid."

"Believe me lady, I'm many things, but brave and loyal aren't among them. And I'm not afraid, either," she added, defiantly.

Razz chuckled. "Dearie, you ran into the woods and asked the first old lady you could find what you should do! No-one is going to make this easy for you, dearie. Stop waiting for someone to tell you what the right thing to do is. You're a smart girl. What do you think?"

They had walked along the field by this time, and Catra peered through the tree branches. She bit her lip to stop herself from crying out when she saw what lay on the other side. Perhaps this was what Razz had been leading her up to- a moment where she could decide, for once and for all, who she belonged to.  _ I've already made that decision. I'm part of the rebellion now. But then again, they tried to kill me, and as bad as the Horde and Shadow Weaver both are, they've never gone quite that far. _

Her eyes fell on something huge and purple and violently thrashing in the center of the camp. It was being tied down by the soldiers, its wings restrained and thrust back painfully. 

"I- I don't know what the right thing is," she said at length. "But I do know that I got that… creature… into this mess. So I should get it out. For the honour of Grayskull!"

She dashed into the camp, feeling herself growing taller and stronger and swinging her sword violently. A blast of energy ricocheted off the tanks and cut across the creature's restraints, cutting it loose. It hissed, and flapped away in a flurry of feathers. 

"Turn off your machines and leave this place," she yelled. "Now!"

"It’s the princess. Get her!" a voice shouted, and she realised with a pang that it was Commander Kyster, one of the few soldiers who had ever been remotely nice to her in the Horde. She pushed that thought to the back of her mind and focused on attacking the remaining soldiers. The sword sliced through their tanks and guns like butter, and though she was undeniably outnumbered she gritted her teeth and continued the battle, putting all the rage and frustration the day had brought on into her every swing.

She barely noticed Razz until the older woman was standing right next to her, hitting a horde soldier with her broom. "Take that, you great lump! Razzle Dazzle!" she screamed, a cheerful grin on her face.

Catra groaned. "Razz, no. You can’t be here." A laser beam hit her squarely in the chest as she turned to help Razz. As her vision blurred, a violet streak shot through the sky. And suddenly she was outside Razz's hut again, lying on something soft and not altogether painful. She struggled to her feet, and noticed that the purple creature was standing next to her. Her brain was far too frazzled and blurry to question it.

"Hello, dearie," Razz murmured softly. "Clawdeen and I have been talking while you were asleep. He thanks you for coming to his rescue."

"Uhhh… who's Clawdeen?"

"That’s what he prefers to be called," she said, gesturing towards the creature. "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine," she said, automatically. "Will I… will I see you again?

"If you need me, you will always know where to find me."

Catra blinked, and she was gone. 

"Hey, uh, Clawdeen?" she said, awkwardly. "Any chance I can get a ride back to Bright Moon?"

Clawdeen hissed, and tensed up his shoulders. 

Catra knelt down, and put a gentle hand on his head. "You're scared, aren't you?"

Clawdeen hissed again, but didn't back away.

"I know because I'm scared too. I just left behind my home, my family and my entire life, and possibly the only person who ever actually cared about me. I'm scared that I made the wrong decision. I'm scared that I'm  _ going  _ to make the wrong decision. I see the Horde and I see the rebellion and I see Razz and I see the First Ones, and I don't know where my place is. I never wanted to be a hero, or a warrior. I wanted my… my friend, Adora, only now  _ she's  _ made the wrong decision and I'm sworn to destroy her, so that's what I'm gonna do, I'm just sure how to do it yet. And I'm scared and alone and confused. And here I am, talking to a flying cat because some crazy old lady said it had a name! I don't know much. But I do know that back at Bright Moon, Glimmer and Bow are counting on me to be She-Ra." She paused, and took a deep breath. "So what do you say? What's it going to be?"

Clawdeen lowered his head, and Catra climbed on.

-

"How could you possibly think this was acceptable?" A loud female voice (Catra assumed it was Queen Angella) rang out across the throne room. She gulped nervously.

"Mom, you don’t understand! You're not listening!"

"You’ve shown remarkably poor judgment! Allowing a Horde soldier into Bright Moon without telling me?"

"Your majesty, it’s not all her fault," Bow put in, hurriedly.

"Bow, I think it’s time you went home. Glimmer and I have a lot to discuss."

"Mom!"

Catra gritted her teeth and walked in, her golden hair flowing out behind her.  _ I can do this. I can do this. _ The throne room was large, and had the same muted pink and gold color scheme as the rest of the palace.

"It can’t be," Queen Angella breathed softly.

"I was trying to tell you. Mom, meet-"

"She-Ra." Angella interrupted.

"Your Majesty," Catra said, clenching her hands into fists to stop them shaking. "I have come to pledge myself to the Rebellion." She knelt before the queen, holding out the sword.

"I know the legend of the warrior the First Ones called She-Ra. They said she would return to us in the hour of our greatest need to bring balance to Etheria. I never thought she was anything more than a myth." She paused, and looked down at Catra. You would pledge to stand with us against the Horde?"

Catra raised her mismatched eyes to meet the queen's dark purple ones. "Yes."

"Glimmer, you would vouch for her and take responsibility for her?"

"Yes," Glimmer said, and Catra could sense her excitement.

"Then rise. The Rebellion accepts your allegiance, She-Ra, Princess of Power."

The hall seemed to fill up with people as Angella handed her sword back to her. All of them were cheering her name- or at least, her other name. She-Ra.  _ This is who I am now.  _ She clenched her jaw.  _ And Adora? I'm coming for you. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who are wondering, Kowl and Clawdeen are indeed nods to the 80s She-Ra (I suffered through Season 1 to prove I was a real fan, but don't worry if you haven't, the story still makes sense).
> 
> Thank you for all the positive feedback I've received so far, it's really helped me to motivate myself while writing this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it, and if you didn't, feel free to leave criticism in the comments!


	6. Eyes in the Dark

_ The air curls with dark shadows, and Adora sits up, gasping. She knows exactly who's standing over her, knows her every detail, her figure, her clothing, her mask, her voice, even her breath. She pulls herself out of her slumber and salutes. _

_ "Yes, Shadow Weaver!" _

_ "Force Captain Adora." A gray hand stretched out to tuck back the hair tumbling out of Adora's messy ponytail. She must have fallen asleep in it.  _ Fallen, or been forced…  _ She pushes that thought out of her head. Shadow Weaver has never used her power on Adora, or any of the Horde cadets. _

_ An image of a young girl crying for mercy as dark shadows surround her flits through her brain. She blinks in confusion as a moment later, it's gone, replaced only by a dim recollection of two mismatched eyes, the same eyes that have been haunting her ever since she left Thaymor. They're important, somehow, that much she knows, but she doesn't know why. _

_ She's distantly aware of Shadow Weaver saying something about Thaymor, but her mind feels clouded and heavy. Come to think of it, she's not entirely sure what happened at Thaymor. It all seems foggy and out of proportion, as though she's viewing it through some sort of distorted glass. She focuses on breathing slowly and calmly. Slowly. Calmly. Slowly. Calmly. Slowly. Calmly. Shadow Weaver's voice is intoxicating. Slowly. Calmly. Slowly. Calmly. She's saying something about Force Captain orientation. Slowly. Calmly. Slowly. Calmly. A pair of eyes stares out of the mist, gazing intently at her. Slowly- _

_ Adora snaps out of her trance with a gasp.  _

_ "-and you'll be joining Force Captain Scorpia. Is that clear, Adora?" Shadow Weaver's voice is almost tender, her words laced with real affection (or so Adora hopes). _

_ "Yes, Shadow Weaver," she says again. It seems like she's been saying those words all her life. _


	7. Flowers for She-Ra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been super busy this week, but here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> //bows Double Trouble style//

Catra hacked aggressively at her hair. Glimmer's tiny golden scissors were not exactly her weapon of choice, but all she really wanted was to get as far away from her Horde self as it was possible to go. Bow had offered to redesign Catra's old outfit to hide the Horde symbol, but she had declined, raiding Glimmer's wardrobe for something perfectly matching the new version of herself. 

She glanced up at the mirror, and a girl with shoulder-length hair stared critically back at her. Her light tufts fell neatly forward over a dark red sleeveless shirt. She was cloaked in a dark indigo jacket with a golden clasp in the shape of a diamond just below her shoulders. The Bright Moon symbol was printed in gold on the back of her jacket. Black leggings stretched down her legs, and her tail curled around her feet. She wore fingerless gloves and toeless black boots, and looked altogether… beautiful. 

Catra was so used to Adora being the pretty one. And she _was_ pretty, much as the brunette hated to admit it, probably prettier than Catra would ever be. But seeing herself like this; powerful, commanding, and totally un-Horde-like, made her feel as though maybe, just maybe, she could actually pull this whole She-Ra thing off. She smirked. _Guess who's calling the shots now, Shadow Weaver?_

It was quite late, but Catra had never minded the dark, and her room was uncomfortably _comfortable_ . The whole place was like a worse version of Glimmer's room: pink and sparkly, with puffy cushions and gold accessories hanging down from the walls. A waterfall trickled quietly down in the background, nothing like the groans and muffled shrieks of the Fright Zone, or Adora's reassuring breath coming from the head of the bunk. _Not that I need her. Not that I ever needed her. I am_ so much _stronger without her._

She adjusted her jacket and decided to explore the corridors of Bright Moon a little more. There wasn't much else she could do, and she was more than a little curious about how the rebellion lived. After a little deliberation, she grabbed her sword and jammed it into her leather belt. Her claws scraped gently against the walls as she trailed along, mapping the palace in her mind. Shadows seemed to dance upon the walls, and she hissed. It was as though she was back in the Fright Zone, Shadow Weaver's dark tendrils stretching out to get her, twisting her limbs back and clutching at her lungs. She yelped.

"Who's there?" A high voice rang out of the darkness.

Catra's hand flew to her forehead out of pure instinct. "Shadow We- Your Majesty! It's me, Catra. But I'm, uh, y'know," she said, gesturing to her sword. "She-Ra."

The queen nodded, but her eyes narrowed suspiciously. Catra felt like she ought to say something, but wasn't quite sure what. "What are you doing here?" was the best she could come up with.

"When I feel the cares of the day weighing upon me, I come here."

Well, that wasn't cryptic or mysterious at all. "Uh, okay… who's that?"

There were multiple people in the… mosaic? painting? that the queen was illuminating, but Angella seemed to understand who she was pointing to. "King Micah," she answered immediately, and there was a terrifying mixture of love and bitterness in her voice. "My husband. He built the rebellion with me. And he was one of the first casualties of _The Horde_."

Catra felt as though something had ripped all the air out of her lungs. "I'm so sorry," she said at length. _No wonder Glimmer doesn't want me to tell her who I am._

"It was a great loss to us. And… to me."

Catra didn't know how to respond, but Angella clearly wasn't expecting her to speak, since she swallowed sharply and pulled her head up. "Enough about me. I want to know all about you, She-Ra."

"Catra," she corrected automatically. 

"Catra."

The brunette scanned the hall for means of escape, but Angella's gaze was unflinching. 

"Um. What do you want to know?"

"Where you come from. Who your family are. How you can transform into She-Ra. What your connection with the sword is. How you met Bow and Glimmer. Who you-"

"Okay!" Catra said quickly, cutting the endless stream of questions short. "Okay. I. Um. Lived in the Whispering Woods." It sounded a little like a question, so she nodded a lot in a desperate attempt to make herself sound less like a complete and total liar. Which she was, but that was beside the point. "And I found the sword one day. On a… walk. And Bow and Glimmer were there. I can transform into She-Ra by holding the sword and saying 'for the honour of Grayskull'. I was actually hoping- nevermind. Um. Is that it?"

Her tail twitched as she watched Angella's forehead wrinkle. _Please don't ask anything else. Please don't ask anything else. Please don't-_

"So you live alone? You have no family?"

"I have… a sister? Called Adora? And a mother called Razz?"

"Excellent. I will invite them to Bright Moon at once," Angella said, spreading her wings.

"You can't." The words slipped out involuntarily.

Angella raised an eyebrow. "And that would be because…?"

"Adora's not around. She was… taken by the Horde."

Her voice fell in the last part, because it was both a lie and yet at the same time horribly, horribly true. Angella's face creased into a mask of sympathy, and she put a gentle hand on Catra's shoulder. "My condolences for your loss," she said simply.

Catra allowed herself to relax, and a shy smile flitted across her face. She pushed it back down. _I'm lying to her. The only reason she's acting this way is because I'm lying to her._

"See you around," she blurted, and dashed away before the queen could call her back, or ask her any more difficult questions. 

Her quarters were quiet, and lonely. After some deliberation, she snuck into Glimmer's bedroom. It wasn't the Fright Zone, and it certainly wasn't Adora, but it felt a little bit closer to home.

-

Glimmer's screams pierced the morning air like a knife, or a bucket of icy water. Catra rolled over and groaned. "What the hell are you doing in here?" Glimmer yelled.

"I'm sorry!" she said, holding her hands up in defence. "I couldn't sleep in my room. I've never slept without any other people around. And then I ran into your mom. She's scary. And. Um."

"And?"

"And, well," Catra bit her lip nervously. "She _might_ be under the impression that I live in the Whispering Woods and that my 'sister' Adora was killed by the Horde."

"What?!"

"Sparkles, relax!" Catra's voice sounded anything but relaxed. "Look, she had just told me about her dead husband. Was I supposed to follow that up with 'oh yeah, and I'm part of the organization that killed him?'" The present tense was unintentional, but it served the sentence well. "Besides, she'll hate me anyway. What's a little lying gonna jeopardize?"

"What? No! My mom will love you."

"Yeah, sure," Catra said, snorting. "She'll love _She-Ra_."

"Mom can be... a little intense," Glimmer said, chuckling nervously. "But, our weekly meeting with the Rebellion Generals is today and you're invited. She wouldn't have invited you if she didn't like you."

"Oh. Cool." Catra didn't know how to react.

"Come to think of it," Glimmer said, grabbing Catra's arm almost aggressively. "Meeting's about to start."

Pink sparkles engulfed her vision, and she lashed out violently with her claws. "Don't worry, you look great!" Glimmer said, positively.

"It's not my looks that I'm worried about. Also." Catra glanced at the table in the room they had just arrived at. This teleporting thing was getting on her nerves, and she felt incredibly disoriented. "The chairs are still empty. I thought you said this thing was about to start."

"Those are for the other Etherian princesses, but... none of them have been active members since I was a kid. The rebellion had a big defeat years ago, and most of the old princesses gave up. Now all the kingdoms keep to themselves, and the new princesses do the same."

Bow walked up beside them, and Catra jumped at the sound of his voice. "Other than Spinnerella and Netossa. Hey, guys!" His voice dropped to a whisper. "We're not really sure what they do."

"That's a stupid reason to break up a rebellion," she said, addressing Glimmer. "The Horde's been defeated loads of time, but if it gave up every time that happened then there wouldn't _be_ a Horde, would there?"

Glimmer opened her mouth to reply, but Angella cut her off by swooping in and banging down on the table. "I've asked you here because I've received a distress call from Princess Perfuma. The Horde is laying siege to her kingdom. She's asking Bright Moon for assistance. General?"

"Perfuma's kingdom, Plumeria, is located near the front lines," a guard piped up helpfully. "The Horde has set up camp in their territory, cutting off their main supply route."

"Bright Moon will provide food and humanitarian aid."

"I have a better idea," Glimmer interrupted enthusiastically. "We can-"

"Fight the Horde?" Angella sighed. "Glimmer, you propose this idea every meeting."

"No! I was, uh, going to say, let's use aggressive fist-to-face sparkles…"

"I said, no, Glimmer. Now sit down!"

Glimmer huffed, but complied anyway. _Why is she backing down so easily?_

"Why not?" The words flew out of her mouth before she even knew she was saying them. "I've been here for less than twenty-four hours, but I already know that your battle plans are stupid. You're not going to win this war by staying at home and not daring to touch the Horde. Plumeria needs battle plans, weapons and reinforcements, not 'humanitarian aid'. You're up against a dangerous militaristic regime who's one goal is to exterminate you and control the planet, not some stupid-" (she managed to stop herself from saying 'princesses' just in time) "-uh, children who think war is all fun and friendly."

There was a murmuring of agreement from around the table, but it was silenced almost immediately by Angella's face. Though she was already preparing herself for the next attack, even Catra found the queen's glare slightly terrifying. Before she could respond, Bow grabbed her arm and spoke up. "You should send me, Catra, and Glimmer to lead the relief mission. We won't engage the Horde, and we won't do anything stupid. But you can't afford to spare any of your soldiers, especially with that Horde soldier hanging around Bright Moon."

Catra desperately hoped no-one could see the color in her face drain out. 

"Very well," Angella said, surprising Catra more than she cared to admit. _Why would she trust me? I just told her explicitly that I wanted to engage the Horde. There's no way she would let me go after hearing that._ "You will deliver food and supplies to Plumeria, and under no circumstances will you engage the Horde. You leave at dawn."

-

Plumeria looked very different from what Catra had imagined a kingdom run by someone called "Perfuma" would look like. For one thing, a gigantic machine spitting out smoke and debris loomed in the background. And for another, it was all brown and dead-looking.

"Wow," Glimmer said in a hushed whisper. "Mom didn't say _anything_ about all the plants dying."

"I don't think she knows," Bow replied, softly. 

Glimmer shook herself slightly, and seemed to pull herself together. "Are you gonna be She-Ra the entire time we're here?" she said, addressing Catra.

"People like She-Ra."

"Suit yourself."

"Believe me, I'm suited."

"You're here!" Princess Perfuma was dressed in a flowing pink skirt and had flowers in her long blonde hair. _How typical._

"Princess Perfuma," Glimmer said, stepping forward. "I'm Commander Glimmer of-"

She stopped short as flowers appeared out of nowhere and circled around her and Bow's heads. "Ooh, I get a hat!" Bow said, grinning enthusiastically. Catra stepped nervously forward, her eyes narrowed.

Perfuma gasped. "Oh, my. Everyone, come quick! It's, Oh, it's… It's… Look! The universe has heard our pleas and sent the legendary She-Ra to help us save our home!"

Catra cleared her throat. "We heard about the blockade and we've come to help. We brought food and supplies for you."

Perfuma _literally whimpered_. "Welcome to Plumeria, She-Ra!"

A large group of locals crowded around her, pressing flowers (and even a small child) into her unwilling arms. "Glimmer," she hissed. "What's happening?"

"Come with me, I'll show you around!" Perfuma interjected cheerfully. "You're gonna love it!"

From the look of the flowers now circling her head and shoulders, Catra really wasn't so sure.

-

"Our people have lived here for thousands of years. We're known for our beautiful flowers, our majestic trees. And this is the Heart-Blossom, the center of our kingdom, and the source of all my magical powers."

They were standing in front of a large pink tree with a strange gemstone embedded in it.

"At least this tree is fine. What happened to everything else?" Bow asked.

"We're going through a little rough patch, but I'm sure the universe will right itself soon!"

"Everything is dead or dying," Glimmer said drily. Perfuma's insistently cheerful attitude seemed to be getting on both of their nerves.

"Look, the blight hit right after the Horde arrived. We don't know why, and nothing I do stops it. But we don't dwell on the negative. Look at the positive. The Heart-Blossom is still healthy, and the She-Ra is here, and the celebration's about to begin!"

"Your kingdom is literally dying, and you're saying that you 'don't focus on the negatives'? What will it take to make you act?"

Perfuma had already walked away. 

-

Despite Catra's insistence that they needed the food more, the Plumerians insisted upon honouring "the She-Ra". Snatches of speech floated into her ears. "We are so honored to have you!" "More starfruit?" "Whoa, that's She-Ra!"

"Yes, I know," Perfuma said in that annoying cheerful voice. "The She-Ra, right? I'm so happy that after all these centuries of being gone, you've finally returned. I said, break out party kale. And at our hour of greatest need, just like in the stories."

This caught Catra's attention. "What stories?"

"The stories we've been telling for thousands of years. She-Ra, the warrior who tamed the beasts of Beast Island with a single word."

Catra felt her stomach drop. _They know about me. The other me. They'll know I'm a fraud. And a traitor. And a-_ "That's nothing," Bow interrupted from her other side. "What about the time She-Ra defeated a squad of Horde soldiers on a flying horse? Or the time she saved Thaymor from a legion of Horde soldiers? Or the time she borrowed my toothbrush and used it to defeat an army of Horde soldiers?"

Catra nodded enthusiastically. The grin on her face was more like a grimace, but she hoped no-one would notice. Crowds started forming around her, pressing in on her, suffocating her- she breathed deeply and tried not to panic. She had never been good with people. 

"Hey, calm down! Give her some space. One at a time. You first." Glimmer stepped in, and though Catra would never admit it, she was actually quite grateful to the princess. The Plumerian Glimmer was pointing to pressed something strange and dangly into her hand.

"Oh!" she said slowly, realising that some sort of response was in order. "Thank you for the… uhh…"

"Windchime," Glimmer hissed loudly.

"Wind Chime or whatever," Catra finished, her face burning. _Why am I such a disaster?_ A large explosion ripped through the air, and she realised that the column of smoke she had originally attributed to Plumeria was probably coming from the Horde camp. _Is that what's draining the magic?_

"We're so excited for you to heal our land and bring all the plants back to life. Will you be doing it before the drum circle or after?" Perfuma said brightly, walking over.

It was as if she had dipped a bucket of ice-cold water over Catra's head. "You want me to- you want me to heal your land?" she said slowly.

"Yes! Like in the ancient story, 'She-Ra Heals the Forest And Brings The Trees Back To Life.'"

"I've seen her do way weirder stuff. This'll be a snap." _Well, thanks for the encouragement, Glimmer._

"Look," she said, trying to stall. "It's not that simple. Plus, I don't like the look of that smoke. The Horde's up to something. Something big."

A worried face peered at her out of large, beautiful eyes. "But we're not strong enough to go up against the Horde. We need _you_ , She-Ra."

"-and then She-Ra saved the day once again!" Bow's voice drifted across the village. The crowd was cheering for her, chanting her name. Something inside her stirred. It wasn't like the feeling she had had in the First Ones' ruin. It was deeper. Not inside the sword. Not inside She-Ra. Inside her. Part of her. _I can't let these people down._

"Give me… five minutes," she muttered, and fled for the trees.

-

Ten minutes had passed and she still hadn't figured anything out. So far, she had given an innocent lizard wings and a horn, summoned several magic blasts and punched a tree. Suffice it to say that it wasn't going well. Of course, if the explosions echoing in the land around her were anything to go by, there wasn't a lot she _could_ do. No-one could fight Hordak's machines. He was one of the most (if not _the_ most) skilled inventors on Etheria. 

"She-Ra! Come quickly! Something absolutely terrible has happened!" Perfuma said, breaking through her chain of thought. She scowled, and then remembered that legendary heroes probably weren't supposed to scowl. "The Heart-Blossom is dying. Please, She-Ra, heal our land."

A few seconds later and she was standing in front of the runestone. Perfuma was right. It was dying. And she had no idea how to fix it. She sank back in exhaustion and defeat, put down the sword and felt her whole body shudder. She gritted her teeth. "Look. This is pointless. I can't heal your land!" She paused. "But I know how _you_ can!"

A hostile murmuring swept across the village. The eyes that had been so admiring just a few moments ago filled with hatred. "Who are you?" someone shouted. "And where's She-Ra?"

"I _am_ She-Ra. I was… chosen… to wield the sword. I'm still new to this. I'm still working out how this all works. But right now, that doesn't matter. You've all seen the machines the Horde has dragged to the blockade. They're what's sapping your magic. Every Horde camp is laid out the same. Guard duty is in half-hour shifts. If you walk in when the shift changes, you'll catch them at their weakest point, and you can take them and their machines out."

A pink flower blossomed in Perfuma's hand. " _This_ is my power," she said, almost regretfully. "I grow plants. We're not strong enough to go up against the Horde. All we want is to live peacefully in our ancestral home." Perfuma turned to her people. "It will be alright, I promise. We will rebuild. We have to believe that the universe will repay the Horde for their evil deeds eventually."

"This is stupid! You're so much more powerful than you know! If you all worked together, you could _win_ against the Horde! The universe isn't going to save you! _You_ save _yourself_ ! _You_ look out for _yourself_!" 

_You look out for me, and I look out for you_ , a voice played in the back of her mind. She pushed it down. _I am done with the Horde. I am done with Adora._

"You're not She-Ra from the stories. You were supposed to save us," a local put in, and there was a sickening murmur of agreement.

"The universe won't protect you! You want She-Ra to fix everything, but won't even try to save yourselves? At least Catra's trying," Glimmer put in. No-one seemed to care.

"If She-Ra can't save us, no-one can. Right now, we just need to make sure our people are safe. We leave today," Perfuma said authoritatively. The Plumerians turned on their heels and followed her. The flowers around Catra's neck wilted and turned to dust.

"Are you okay?" Bow rushed to her side, Glimmer following behind him.

"I just wanted to help. But all I've done is disappoint an entire kingdom. And I'm sorry." she said bitterly. "I'm sorry I let you guys down after you talked me up."

"We just wanted everyone to see what an awesome person you are," Bow said, almost in tears. "I thought I was being supportive, but I was being terrible!"

"I thought I was better off as She-Ra, but it turns out that no matter what form I take I'm just-" _Useless. Pathetic. A failure. Everything Shadow Weaver said about me._ "-nothing."

"You're not nothing!" Glimmer said. "It doesn't matter whether you can heal things or save kingdoms or do magic or any of those things. We're always gonna be your friends."

_"I'm always gonna be your friend!" Adora said, holding her close. "You look out for me, and I look out for you."_

_"You promise?" Catra said, blinking back her tears hopefully._

_"I promise."_

"Yeah," she said savagely. "I am _done_ with friends."

The woods invited her in, and she accepted their call.

-

Catra stumbled over tree root after tree root. _I wasn't good enough for them. I failed them. I failed. I failed. Shadow Weaver was right. I'm no good for anything. Not even as She-Ra. I failed them. I failed._

She wasn't quite sure where she was going, or how long she'd been heading there when a horn wailed out from the distance. From the direction of the Horde camp. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened. Bow and Glimmer had gone ahead with the attack. _Idiots. What were they thinking? Were they_ actually trying _to get themselves killed?_ She began to run back towards the village, her feet moving involuntarily. She paused at the edge of the camp, and stood surveying the chaos. 

Bow and Glimmer were clearly in the center of things, but it wasn't just them. The entire village seemed to be fighting as well, shouting and cheering and stampeding and… _winning._ But it was the figure at the head of the attack, wildly swinging thick vines and blowing aggressively on the horn that surprised Catra the most.

 _If she can be brave, then maybe I can too_.

"For the honour of Grayskull!"

The Horde soldiers ran at her with their stun batons pointed directly at her chest. She threw them down and out of her way, just like she had with all the cadets she'd fought through all the years she'd been with the Horde. She was used to being the short one and the weak one, so she'd adapted her fighting style to work with that. While being dressed in a tiara, a dress and a cape and having long magical flowing blonde hair made biting people's legs slightly harder, the principal of her strategy remained the same. She wheeled around and managed to knock out a soldier sneaking up behind her. _I wonder if that was someone I knew_ , her treacherous brain whispered, but she clamped down on that thought and fought her way to where Bow, Glimmer and Perfuma were standing.

"Need a hand?" she asked jokingly, as she slammed her sword into yet another armoured body.

"She-Ra!" Perfuma looked thrilled. "You came back! Even though we were so negative to you!"

Catra grinned lopsidedly. "Yeah, well- that's what heroes are supposed to do…"

A huge tendril caught at a nearby soldier's leg, and Perfuma shrieked. "I've never felt so alive! You know, I've always said the universe will repay the Horde one day. Well, I guess that day is today!"

"For the She-Ra!" someone shouted, and the cry was taken up by the whole village. It was exhilarating, being this useful and needed and _wanted_ by everyone around her. She aimed her sword at the large machine at the center of the camp. The world seemed to slow down around her as she focused in on her target.

"For Etheria," she said quietly, and a bolt of energy streaked from her sword into the heart of the machine. The camp exploded with light and energy and she smiled.

-

Catra, Glimmer, Bow and Perfuma were standing in a grassy field outside the village. The Plumerian was busy encasing the land in pink flowers, and (though she didn't quite believe it herself) at that particular moment Catra couldn't think of anything more beautiful. 

"You inspired us to save ourselves," Perfuma said at length, bouquets of flowers forming in her hands. "How can we ever repay you?"

Glimmer stepped forward. "Join the Rebellion, and help me reform the Princess Alliance."

There was a collective gasp, and Catra found herself gasping involuntary. "Um, are you sure?" Perfuma said doubtfully. "Didn't that go horribly the first time?"

"It went horribly for our parents. But we have a chance to do it right. We're clearly stronger together. Think what all the Princesses united could do."

"…would I get to hit more people with flowers?"

"Absolutely."

"Then you have a deal," Perfuma said, and for once, Catra didn't mind her cheerfulness. "Hey, everyone! Look at us!" We're mighty rebels now!"

-

Catra stumbled back to her room, her legs stiff and aching. Her tail dragged along behind her, and the outfit she had so carefully picked out the night before was tattered and mud-coated. She stopped short as she opened the door, staring at the scene inside. Bow and Glimmer were sitting in the middle of the room, with huge smiles on their faces. Three mattresses were layed out, and pillows were scattered around the floor. "What… what is this?"

"Since you've never slept in a room by yourself before, Bow and I thought we'd throw you a sleepover, then you won't feel so alone!"

 _Me and Adora used to have those,_ she thought, but pushed the thought aside and grinned. "You guys! This is amazing!"

"We can do this tomorrow too, since Glimmer's grounded for ignoring orders."

"For _one week_ . That's three weeks less than normal! _And_ Mom said she'd consider my plan to recruit new Princesses into the rebellion!"

"Thanks, guys," Catra said, thoughtfully. "I guess… I may not be the hero everyone wants me to be, but at least I'm trying. And maybe that's enough."

Glimmer hit her over the head with a pillow, and Catra yelped. "Of course it's enough!" she said laughing. "And do you have any idea how annoying you'd be if you were perfect?"

Catra grabbed the nearest pillow and hit her back, and soon Bow joined in. "Aw! Best Friend Squad is having a pillow fight!"

Catra paused. "Yeah, we're not calling ourselves that."

"I prefer "The Glimmer Group'," Glimmer offered.

"Nah." Bow said, leaning back and staring up at the ceiling. "We're the Best Friend Squad."


End file.
